You've been waiting
for them with bated breath, so without further ado, here are the
2015 Darwin Awards:
In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of
water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate
to retrieve his car keys.
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he
ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for
protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at
the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand.
People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him
out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy
equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of
a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long
flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed
into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends
who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into
his mouth and pull the trigger.
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front
door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the
store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was
standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be
robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target
The officer and a
clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their
guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by
Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge
cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot
wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No
one else was hurt.
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around
at 2 A.M. So they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the
window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice
that the window was closed.
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of
them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local
bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more
excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge
at 4:30 AM.
Upon arrival at the
midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a
bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and
pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They
secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the
bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and
tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his
fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen.
Bingham's foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER
Zoo keeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his
constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm
finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was
attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the
relieved beast unloaded.
The sheer force of
the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr Riesfeldt to the
ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued
to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.
It seems to be
just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'Shit happens'
IT ALWAYS SEEMS
IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE